When you become a surrogate mother, you will most likely have had children of your own and explaining why you are pregnant to them might be a challenge that can be overcome by the following tips.
Surrogacy is not only about individual responsibilities - it is a family event including your children who can be exposed to a wide range of emotions such as jealousy, excitement, confusion and so on.
One of the most effective ways to deal with the challenge is to involve your kids in the surrogacy process. The level of involvement might be determined by the age and maturity of your child.
In order to gently introduce the idea, you can start by reading various children’s books (The Kangaroo Pouch: A Story about Surrogacy for Young Children by Sarah Phillips Pellet) or fairy tales on surrogacy. Highlight that you are willing to help couples have a kid just like yours and ask for his/her opinion about that.
Once you are matched with intended parents, you can show their picture to your children and explain how much you are contributing to their happiness. You can also ask your kids to paint or write something for the intended parents or the upcoming baby.
Instead of using complicated terms, approach easy language. Explain that you are the safe place where babies can grow before birth and that some women can’t grow their babies on their own.
Let your kids ask questions and fully express their feelings toward you being a surrogate mother. The more questions you answer, the more understanding they will gain about the process you are going through.
Some children might find it difficult to realize that the baby you are going to give a birth to is not going to stay at your place. Make sure to tell your kid that the baby will live with another family and will be loved as much as you love your child.